tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1746050382328975047.post2836237694215531051..comments2024-03-19T07:42:01.506-04:00Comments on Literary Rambles: Hooked? Yea or Nay?Casey McCormickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02787815672519189433noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1746050382328975047.post-81400636109472982712009-01-21T12:20:00.000-05:002009-01-21T12:20:00.000-05:00Wow! It's amazing how much great advice can be app...Wow! It's amazing how much great advice can be applied to just one paragraph. <BR/><BR/>I really like the points that have been made. I'm going to tweak some things and see how it reads. It will be better for it, I think. <BR/><BR/>Jill - feel free to send me something to post whenever you want!Casey Somethinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17596079290053524103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1746050382328975047.post-20043263671491379642009-01-21T10:48:00.000-05:002009-01-21T10:48:00.000-05:00maybe a different word for fingered. like the pre...maybe a different word for fingered. like the premise. what is a tawse (maybe your word for the day :)Shelli (srjohannes)https://www.blogger.com/profile/17123227845032402600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1746050382328975047.post-74118660543298748892009-01-20T20:23:00.000-05:002009-01-20T20:23:00.000-05:00I love "punishment cabinet". So perfect!Something ...I love "punishment cabinet". So perfect!<BR/><BR/>Something about clenched jaw AND small sigh escaping both in the first paragraph feels like a bit too much. I know it's two different character's actions, though. <BR/><BR/>Also, maybe you could save the SS teacher's name for paragraph two?<BR/><BR/>Just thoughts. But it is great and totally hook worthy. I love the last sentence the most!PJ Hooverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02602205868934777662noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1746050382328975047.post-3810574525278712232009-01-20T19:06:00.000-05:002009-01-20T19:06:00.000-05:00Well, he gets out of it and then the story takes o...Well, he gets out of it and then the story takes off in another direction, so there is no Corporal punishment actually detailed in the story. It's just part of building the world he presently lives in. <BR/><BR/>However, I wasn't sure if it would turn people off from the story immediately, so I'm glad you said something. <BR/><BR/>I'm on the fence about it.Casey Somethinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17596079290053524103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1746050382328975047.post-90316556441967358562009-01-20T18:54:00.000-05:002009-01-20T18:54:00.000-05:00Um… well…Technically it’s good. It hooks and all…H...Um… well…<BR/><BR/>Technically it’s good. It hooks and all…<BR/><BR/>However… Corporal punishment in MG? I’m worried about the marketability of that. Really worried.Heather Hansenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13814444108289873041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1746050382328975047.post-4436932252046460042009-01-20T16:16:00.000-05:002009-01-20T16:16:00.000-05:00I'm hooked. I'm wondering what the heck he did, a...I'm hooked. I'm wondering what the heck he did, and I'm definitely hating that teacher.<BR/><BR/>I'll send you a snippet to post. I'm working on the intro to DTY... trying to make it hookier.Jill Wheelerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15059527254551768150noreply@blogger.com