tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1746050382328975047.post5594877522530505960..comments2024-03-28T12:39:49.005-04:00Comments on Literary Rambles: Public Critique: MOONY HILLCasey McCormickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02787815672519189433noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1746050382328975047.post-29619641878708753072010-10-01T10:31:05.401-04:002010-10-01T10:31:05.401-04:00Hi Anon!
You need to e-mail the excerpt to me sin...Hi Anon!<br /><br />You need to e-mail the excerpt to me since I often need to schedule them out. I'll try to make that clearer on the page. Thank you!<br /><br />agentspotlight (at) gmail (dot) comCasey McCormickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02787815672519189433noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1746050382328975047.post-87984890069885244492010-10-01T10:00:53.485-04:002010-10-01T10:00:53.485-04:00I love this!
I think it's really good and has ...I love this!<br />I think it's really good and has fantastic imagery, sometimes the beat is just a little off but otherwise it's good!<br />How do we submit something for public critique, I looked on the contribute page but it didn't seem to actually say where to put your material?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1746050382328975047.post-62849491784485957972010-09-30T13:47:10.615-04:002010-09-30T13:47:10.615-04:00Dana,
I don't think it's really a mistake...Dana,<br /><br />I don't think it's really a mistake to write a rhyming picture book. They do still sell, there are just a lot of them. It has to be done really well and stand out to have a chance. Because of this, and because of the market, a lot of people advise avoiding rhyme all together. <br /><br />Anyway! I still think it would be fun as a holiday poem for a magazine or e-zine. It would probably have to be shortened though. Not sure. It would depend on the market. Might be something to look into when you're done revising.Casey McCormickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02787815672519189433noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1746050382328975047.post-76547490641407535852010-09-30T03:06:40.274-04:002010-09-30T03:06:40.274-04:00Thank you all. I hope to send it again in the next...Thank you all. I hope to send it again in the next day or so. I know its too long for a picture book but that's what it started as so that's what I keep calling it. Its just that I can see the story so vividly! Its great to know you can too. Recently I read it was a mistake to make a rhyming picture book so I need to find another home for it. I hope someone can help me work the kinks out of it. Thanks again!Danahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08402250094117259055noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1746050382328975047.post-57824574684446579772010-09-30T00:01:13.272-04:002010-09-30T00:01:13.272-04:00Hi Dana!
I don't know much about meter or rhy...Hi Dana!<br /><br />I don't know much about meter or rhyme or, well, much of anything about picture books, but I do love the imagery here. I agree with the others that some of the rhymes seem a bit off, but it's a fun little tale. Perfect for Halloween! <br /><br />I can post the entire thing here, if you'd like, or maybe you can get in touch with the other commenters and see if they'd like to see it over e-mail. <br /><br />I hope you get a few more comments. I was hoping you'd get some input from a picture book writer or two. Good luck!Casey McCormickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02787815672519189433noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1746050382328975047.post-56329093531218191752010-09-29T19:58:56.604-04:002010-09-29T19:58:56.604-04:00I'm trying to resist commenting each comment ...I'm trying to resist commenting each comment but one more time. It starts in the middle of the story so seems to have a stunted beginning. Also, how do I let someone see the entire story when asked. Newbie here hating to show my lack of basic blog savvy.Danahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08402250094117259055noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1746050382328975047.post-52910186457543201102010-09-29T17:35:42.129-04:002010-09-29T17:35:42.129-04:00Love the visual imagery through out - I could tota...Love the visual imagery through out - I could totally picture the illustrations.<br /><br />The first two lines threw me off a bit. I wasn't sure who 'you' referred to b/c then the next line started with 'she'.<br /><br />And some of the meter is off, like some sentences seem to have too many syllable. Maybe read it aloud?<br /><br />Good luck with it!Laura Paulinghttp://www.laurapauling.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1746050382328975047.post-16551382940246312122010-09-29T17:02:02.946-04:002010-09-29T17:02:02.946-04:00Thank you! I agree about the rhythm, even I have t...Thank you! I agree about the rhythm, even I have to restart a line here or there when I read it. I'll keep working on it.Danahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08402250094117259055noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1746050382328975047.post-60638941292367542372010-09-29T16:44:13.647-04:002010-09-29T16:44:13.647-04:00Wow, I really love this excerpt. The biginning mad...Wow, I really love this excerpt. The biginning made me just want to keep writing, and the first line is beautifully writen. My only comment would be the rhythm, sometimes it just seems slightly off :S However, I am a very picky reader, and I LOVE this! I hope to read all of the short story :D I can picture it so- well, that all I have left to say is: Beautiful!Gemmahttp://www.gemmaswordgems.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.com