Tip Tuesday #86

Hello and happy Tuesday. Today, I have some great editing tips from Jenna Morris who blogs at Literally YA. After you read her tips below, please hope over to her blog for a visit. She recently added a follower widget and need some new followers. And hey, anyone who blogs about Disney's Tangled gets a recommendation from me. I seriously LOVE that movie.

It helps if you print it out. I don't know whether this seems obvious or not, but my eyes seem to catch a lot more mistakes -- and things that aren't mistakes, but aren't right, either -- when I have a hard copy actually in my hands. Also, a paper manuscript, while a little more cumbersome, is perfectly portable. (School, hmm?)

A pen with bright-colored ink does wonders. Sure, it might look ridiculous, and some might wonder if a rainbow puked all over your manuscript. But it makes it much easier to pick out your revisions from the black printer ink if you do. (Mine's neon pink. Nerd that I am, I've named it Slasher.)

Read through each chapter individually and pick out the main points. That way, you know what you're cutting out: everything else. It's not always fun, but there's no use keeping it if it's just tying your book down. You might have to rewrite a little to patch up those main points, make them flow, but hey -- you're a writer, aren't you?

Take it sentence by sentence, word by word. This is one of the biggest pains there is, but it's also the one of the most important. Analyze the syntax of your sentence, then any alternative ways to state it; if another can say what the original did, but with less words, I'd take it. Very big note: If it's going to compromise the meaning or ring to your sentence, I probably wouldn't do it unless I had to. But it's really just personal preference.

Contractions are your friends. I mean, merging two words into one? Sounds to me like a desperate author came up with that one.

Use Search and Destroy -- um, Replace. Search and Replace. For example, if you're going by a title a lot, you might consider swapping most of those 2-worded titles for a single-worded alternative. (For example, if you have a queen named Alice and you find yourself calling her "the queen" more often than you need to, you might just call her "Alice" every once in a while, if the situation's right. Also, you need to make sure you didn't alternate the two purposely to avoid repetition, before replacing all of them.)

If there's something you absolutely need to include, consider moving it to another book. A thread of back story? An explanation? A revelation? If taking that scene or such and weaving it into a later book in the series (provided there is one) makes as much sense as putting it into this one, it might make sense just to hold off on it until then. But only if it still holds effectiveness in that other place.

Cut out all of the "that"s that you don't need. See that last sentence? The second "that" didn't need to be there. Chances are, that you've put many of those in your manuscript; I definitely did. But there's good news: after I've noticed that I overuse the word and have begun to actively cut it from my manuscript, I haven't been making the mistake as much.

Cut out all of the "of"s you don't need. This one helps too. Also, instead of putting "off of," "from" usually works just as well.

Remember: not many people have died from editing, and it really does help. While I don't actively enjoy editing, I love the results I see in my book because of it. A tighter manuscript really is better, and hopefully, agents, publishers, and readers all agree.

- Jenna Morris

Tip Tuesday #34

Today's handy tip comes from Rachael who blogs at Writer's Chasm.  Please visit her blog on your way out!

Everyone has that one word or phrase that they use ALL the time. Mine are 'within minutes' and 'so' among other things. Then there are those garbage words like 'just' and 'then' and 'very.' There are whole lists of words to go through your manuscript and look for. But going through the whole thing with Find to look for each individual word is an extreme hassle. So I found a faster way.

NOTE: This works for Word 2007. If you have an earlier version, then I'm sure there's a way to do it, I'm just not sure of the specifics.

Go to Find and Replace.

Type the word you're looking for into the Find and the Replace boxes.

Click on 'More >>.' Go down to Format, click on it, and then click Highlight.

Hit Replace All.

Now all of the times you use that word are highlighted! You can do this with each word or phrase and then just scroll down the MS and look for all the highlight marks at the same time.

I love this tip, Rachael!  I didn't know there was a way to "find and highlight" rather than just replace.  That does make things simpler. Thank you! 

Revision, Changing the Way You Write

If you didn't already know, I'm revising. It's what's on the brain. A couple days ago, I tweeted this, "Now that I know what revision is REALLY like, I suspect I'll be first drafting differently. Did anyone discover/do the same?"

Everyone who replied said they they did, and I felt like I'd reached an unexpected milestone. 

I'm learning a lot from revision. If you've been running from it like I have (I'll admit it, I have), I encourage you to dig in and push yourself to do it.  Even if it's a manuscript you don't expect to pursue publication with.  Why?  Because this tearing apart, restructuring, rewriting, tightening, tweaking, etc. I'm doing on my MS is informing my writing more than all the first-drafting I've ever done. 

I'm astounded. 

So, all you veterans out there.  Did this happen for you as well?  What have you learned from revision?  Any words of wisdom?  Please share! If you're busy revising like I am, what are you learning?  What has the experience been like for you?

Omit Needless Words & Tighten Your Writing Part III

 

Part III in my tighter writing series.  If you haven't read Part I and Part II, please do. 

REDUNDANCIES:

Remember those redundant adjectives?  I wanted to return to that and address redundant phrases / expressions because it's not always the modifier that needs to go. There are a lot of ways to be redundant. 

Examples:

The reason is because I like you.

Becomes:  The reason is, I like you... OR Because I like you.

Each and every one of your words should count.

Becomes:  Every word should count.

He nodded his head and reached for a pen with his hand.

Becomes:  He nodded and reached for a pen. 

Looking back in the past, I realized it was me who introduced them for the first time.

Becomes:  Looking back, I realized I introduced them.

I tried to warn her in advance that the weather conditions were likely to be quite severe. 

Becomes: I tried to warn her the weather might be severe. 

This is a good example where I might use a complimentary "that" as a beat ("I tried to warn her that...").  I also exchanged "were likely to be" for "might" to tighten further.  

Here is great list of redundant expressions (pleonasms)that will show you just how prevalent they are. 

***

On a similar note, make sure you're also on the look out for sentences where you just plain repeat yourself.  If two sentences give us the same information, even if they're worded differently, chances are one of them can go.  I see this (and do this) a lot in transitions from internal thought to dialogue.

A quick example:

Wow, was he reading Jane Eyre?  I snatched the book from him.  "Are you reading Jane Eyre?"

You could take the internal thought off all together (which I would do if you're trying to shed word count) or replace it with something less repetitive.

Could become:  Was I seeing this?  I snatched the book from him.  "Are you reading Jane Eyre?"

***

SUBTLE REDUNDANCIES, or SPECIFYING THE OBVIOUS:

The other thing I wanted to expand on is specifying something to the point of subtle redundancy.  Like using the word "there" to reemphasize where your character is, or in the above sample where I specified it was the character's head that was nodding or hand that was reaching, there are a lot of instances where you can be redundant without realizing it. 

Examples:

1)  In the garage, she walked over to the tool bench to grab a hammer before heading over to get in the car. 

This could be a lot tighter.  Look at the base words.  We want the reader to know she's in the garage, grabbing a hammer, and getting in the car.  We don't need the small movements or specifications. 

Becomes:  In the garage, she grabbed a hammer and got in the car. 

If she was skipping or running, that'd be worth specifying but if nothing out of the ordinary is happening we know she's walking around.  We don't need to know the hammer was on the tool bench unless it's important.  And just like that, twenty-two words becomes twelve. 

2) Sarah really wanted to see what was happening outside.  She turned toward the window and looked down and out toward the scene.  The gardener was yelling at a cat!

Again, we don't need the movements, and we know she'll be looking outside at a scene if she looks out a window. 

Becomes: Sarah wanted to see what was happening.  She looked outside.  The gardener was yelling at a cat!

You could keep mention of the window but it's one of those things that's sort of obvious if we know Sarah is inside.  It all depends on scene setting, really.  When tightening like this, do make sure you're tweaking things, adding conjunctions, stronger words, etc. to adjust the flow and cadence.  You risk sounding stilted if you don't account for cut words.

Compare this to the original sentence: Sarah looked outside to see the commotion.  The gardener was yelling at a cat!

It all depends on your style, the flow, and the information we've already been given.  Sometimes you need these details just for the sake of pacing. That's okay!  Just make conscious decisions and you'll be golden.

***

Thoughts? Questions? Examples?  Leave your smarts in the comments!

Omit Needless Words & Tighten Your Writing: Part II

 

Continuing my series on needless words and tighter writing, we have part II.  Feel free to review Part I here.  As ever, I suggest grabbing your manuscript and applying what you've learned while it's fresh in your mind.  Make it stick!

THAT and THERE:

That:

The word "that" has three functions. It's used as a demonstrative pronoun, to introduce a restrictive clause, and as a complimentizer.

A demonstrative pronoun acts as a noun or pronoun.  It is often acting as the subject.  You need these "thats."

Examples:

That won't let you down.  If fact, that will outlive the other.

Hey, I wrote that!

That he didn't try was the problem.

A restrictive clause limits or specifies the identity of the subject in some fashion.  You need the "thats" that introduce one of these clauses.

Examples:

The apple that didn't have mold fell to the ground.  (Not that apple but that apple.)

That car that sped across the grass, didn't you see it? (Not the car on the street, the one on the grass.)

Those are the ones that can stay.  So which ones go?  The "thats" that are meant to compliment.  The majority of them will be empty in purpose. 

Examples:

I felt that he was an untrustworthy man.

It was apparent that I was late.

I hope that this makes sense.

When was it that you were going to come over?

Sometimes, however, a complimentizer is needed for cadence or respite and you just can't let it go.  If you find one that could go but you're reluctant to delete it for some reason, say your sentence out loud to see if you're using it as a sort of pause.  If so, it should probably stay as a stylistic choice.   Just make sure the sentence really needs it!

There:

The word "there," as you know, refers to a place (concrete or abstract).  Most "theres" are okay and needed but oftentimes a sentence with "there" could be strengthened/tightened.  Particularly, I see a lot of writers use the word "there" to reemphasize location when it's not needed.

Examples:

There was nothing there.  Change to: Nothing was there.

She laid there on the bed and cried.

He leaned there on the locker, afraid to go to class. 

He came out of there and faced me.  (Either delete or use a concrete noun in a case like this.)

While you're examining your "theres" make sure you're using them in concrete ways.  Should it be "there"? or should you be giving "there" a name?  Do you even need to reference location again?

***

An example of tightening and revision using "there:"

My house was like a circus, loud and animated.  Then there was Grandma's house, such a quiet, peaceful place.  I loved visiting there.

Becomes:

My house was like a circus, loud and animated while Grandma's house was a quiet, peaceful place. I loved visiting.

My house was like a circus, loud and animated, but Grandma's house was quiet and peaceful.  I loved it. 

ETC.  There are many ways to rewrite it; the point is that I didn't need either "there" from the original sentence. Though, the first could stay if you wanted the emphasis and conversational tone.  I'd definitely launch the second.  Again, it comes down to examining what you want/need versus what came out when the words were flowing. 

***

So, for both That and There, I recommend hitting Crtl F, doing a search for each, and examining all your uses.  If you find an empty "that," delete!  If you find a "there" that (extra points if you can tell me what "that" I just used) makes location redundant, delete!

As before, please leave your examples, smarts, and thoughts in the comments (and correct me if I'm wrong on anything)!

Omit Needless Words & Tighten Your Writing: Part I

 

You hear it all the time, "omit needless words," "tighten your writing," and maybe you're thinking, huh?  What words?  How?  What don't I see?  How do I learn?  I'm going to try and point out some things to look for, but I don't think the knowledge won't will really soak in unless you're willing to you'll treat it as an exercise and get into it.  So grab a few pages of your manuscript (double or triple spaced) and a red pen and get ready to wage war on extraneousness.  This will be is a series, so keep your pages and mark them up as we go.

Disclaimer:  I am no expert at this. I'm just trying to share what I've learned and may make errors or omit important info in doing so.  Please add to the lessons in the comments!

ADVERBS AND ADJECTIVES:

The Adverb: 

An adverb modifies a verb, adjective, or another adverb.  They often end in -ly, but don't always, and tend to qualify, intensify, or downtone what you're saying.  They also ask a question such as, How? When? Where? How much? or Why? 

The cat jumped quickly leapt onto the couch. 

The boy walked slowly and carefully tiptoed out of his room.

John ran quickly from fled the scene.

"Get rid of those words!" she said loudly and hastily shouted.

I really want you to understand this.

It's very quiet here.

This is really, quite fun.

Sometimes you need adverbs to convey something more than your base words do alone, but if they're not adding to the sentence, cut!  Check them all, especially your -ly words.  Remember: Weak verbs depend on adverbs.  If you feel you need an adverb, examine your verb before moving on.

Here are some adverbs to look for:  very, not, too, really, basically, in a sense, rather, quite, extremely, totally, essentially, somewhat, almost, a bit, a little bit, nearly, severely, sort of, kind of, etc.

The Adjective: 

An adjective describes a noun or pronoun and tends to answer a question such as What kind? How many?  How exactly? or Which?  Adjectives are interesting because sometimes you're removing one to tighten a sentence and sometimes you're adding one. 

An adjective needs to go if your noun or sentence implies the description your adjective offers (is redundant).  Make sure your adjective is telling us something your noun absolutely cannot.

Examples:

The icy icicle hung from the ledge.

The fragile glass shattered.

The hot summer sun seemed stagnant that summer day.

It was a horrible, horrible crime to shoot that woman.

The small baby didn't like the harsh cackle of the evil witch. 

The loving mother hugged her child and said, "My heart is yours."

He was a furious, violent, and rabid man. (In this case I'm getting rid of two adjectives and keeping one that implies the other two).

An adjective should be added if it can replace a clause or phrase and still convey what you want to convey.

Examples:

The woman was very intelligent and knew all about knowledgeable in physics. 

With little thought or care Irresponsibly, the couple left the dog on the side of the road.

He was deserving of deserved the award.

The haze of the atmosphere atmospheric haze was thick.  (Watch out for "of the.")

A large number of Many students love her. 

It was within the realm of possibility that possible she had magic. 

And so on and so forth. 

***

Here is an example of a sentence that could be edited of adverbs and adjectives:

A harsh, wicked wind swept quickly through the empty streets that cold, stormy night and made a loud, mournful sound outside my thin window.

Becomes:

Wind swept through the streets that night and howled outside my window. 

Or:

That night, wind swept through the streets and howled outside my window.

Not the greatest example, but do you see how much faster it reads?  How many less words it uses?  "Harsh, "wicked," and "quickly" are implied by the action of the wind sweeping through the streets.  "Empty" is almost a given and doesn't seem to be relevant.  "Cold" and "stormy" are implied.  "Loud, mournful sound" needed to be replaced with a strong verb.  "Thin" is redundant.

The one adjective I might keep is "wicked."

That night, a wicked wind swept through the streets and howled outside my window. 

The key is not to cut and tighten everything that could be tightened, but to examine whether keeping, discarding, or adding an adverb or adjective best conveys your intent for the sentence in as few words as possible. 

In the comments, please add examples, knowledge, and your own findings in regard to adverbs and adjectives!!  Part II is now available. 

Guest Blogger Katharina Kolata: Review of Holly Lisle's "How to Revise Your Novel" Course

Hi all! I won't normally be posting two guest posts a week but this one came with an important timeframe attached! Holly's Lisle's revision course, "How to Revise Your Novel," reviewed here today by the lovely Katharina Gerlach, is only available until Saturday, January 9th (for the next few months, at least). I love Holly's website and have sung her praises a few times before, so I've no doubt the course is every bit as good as Katharina says. Enjoy!

Most of the writers I know stall when it comes to revision. Some writers hate it so much that they never touch their first draft again. Some correct a few spelling mistakes, others cut or add description and flesh out a character or two. Everybody agrees that revising your manuscript is necessary but it's hard to find sound advice on how to actually improve your novel. That's why I decided to join Holly Lisle's writing course "How to Revise Your Novel".

By the way, this is not a course about style; it's about improving your story. It is aimed at everybody who wants to tell stories with believable characters in an authentic setting with problems the reader can relate to. So far, I haven't regretted taking it. Holly's lessons are helpful and written in an amusing way. Also, there is a great forum available where many students (and Holly Lisle herself as time allows) actively participate to help others. It's great to have so much support.

Over a span of 22 weeks, Holly Lisle dissects her own revision process to teach her students what can go wrong in a novel. That doesn't mean that my manuscripts contain all the issues she points out. After all, I have nearly ten years of writing experience under my belt and found out a couple of things myself. But, and that's a big one, she manages to break down a daunting task into bite sized lessons that address all the problems you might ever encounter during a revision.

In the first lessons, we learned to define what kind of novel we want to end our revision with. Only with a picture of your finished story in mind, you can turn your manuscript into the novel you want. After that, we dissected our stories scene by scene. We looked for details that need to be fixed and just as thoroughly for details that are perfect the way they are. I was surprised, how much of my story was better than I had thought. It motivates to know that.

Currently, I am working on lesson 6: "Sharpening Your Characters", and I am amazed about the easy methods Holly Lisle came up with to objectively determine if something needs to be fixed or can be left alone. The next lesson will tackle world-building (which is not only an issue for writers of Fantasy or Science Fiction) and then, we'll learn how to fix the problems we found. As a bonus, the final lesson will condense the whole process into a tool that will enable the students to do their next revision in one single reading of the manuscript (which will be invaluable when I have to meet a publisher's deadline again).

There are many Creative Writing courses available but I am sure that this is the most detailed breakdown of the revision process. Also, at USD 47.00 a month for four months (that's $8.55 a lesson) it is very reasonably priced. If you are struggling with revision, Holly Lisle's "How to Revise Your Novel" is a course that can help you.

This post was written by Katharina Gerlach, a writer and triple Mum from Germany.

Is it Really Ready?

In yesterday's comments, PJ Hoover mentioned that's it's hard to know when a manuscript is ready for querying.  "Is it ever ready?" she asked.  As I responded there, no, it's never going to be 100% ready.  You could revise and rewrite something your entire life.  Truly, you could.  But I think we often know in our gut if we're jumping the gun, if we're skimping on revisions or edits or passes we know we should do. 

I honestly believe there's a point you get to, when you've done everything you can with the help and resources you have available, where you can be reasonably confident it's ready.  You've revised, you've had the MS read and critiqued, you've revised again, you've line edited, you've set it aside for awhile and tweaked it yet again, and you can read through it and enjoy it without pause, without wanting to stop and adjust.  If you're not feeling pretty darn confident it's ready to go, it's probably not ready to go. 

I was pleasantly surprised when I opened up my Google Reader and found a new post by Darcy Patterson of Fiction Notes (previously Revision Notes) called "How Many Times Do You Revise?"  She shares some of the same sentiments and puts it better than I ever could - check it out!  Actually, check out the entire Fiction Notes site.  There is post after post of golden advice on revision.  I could post a linkfest of favorites.

I feel I have to add a disclaimer here, I've never queried - none of my projects have been ready (I can say that with certainty).  So I'd like to elicit the opinion of those who have experience on both sides, do you agree or disagree with my feelings on this?   How did you know (or not know) your manuscript was ready for querying?

Channeling My Mad Scientist

Henry: Look! It's moving. It's sha--it's... it's alive. It's alive... It's alive, it's moving, it's alive! It's alive, it's alive, it's alive! It's ALIVE!

Victor: Henry -- in the name of God!

Henry: Oh, in the name of God! Now I know what it's like to BE God!

- Frankenstein (1931 film)

My revisions are going great. I have sixty pages left to go through. Granted, I'm just tackling the big stuff right now. That sixty will lead me right back to the beginning for another round of a different kind. I'm doing it in manageable layers to keep my sanity. And yet...

I'm feeling quite like a mad scientist. Not just in the sense that I'm inventing and creating a new novel (and losing my mind) but also in the sense that I'm creating a monster. What I'm writing goes against the grain in some ways. It's somewhat psychological, contrary - edgy maybe. I'm not even sure I have my mind wrapped around what it is in its entirety - yet. It's one of those novels that's really going to need the right agent and the right editor with the right publishing house if it's ever going to get published. So, in a business and a market that's already hard to break into, I feel like I'm willingly laying the mortar down where the odds will be stacked against me to form an impenetrable wall. And if I do break through the wall, despite the odds, I fear what I will face on the other side.

Dr. Waldman: This creature of yours should be kept under guard. Mark my words. He will prove dangerous.

Maybe I'm being over dramatic. The novel will just have to find a home where other edgy upper YA novels have, and I'll just have to face whatever backlash follows, but these famous lines from Frankenstein kept coming to mind anyway, so I looked them up and found some quotes from the 1931 film. You know what Henry's response to Dr. Waldman is in the film?

Henry: Dangerous! Poor old Waldman. Have you never wanted to do anything that was dangerous? Where should we be if no one tried to find out what lies beyond? Have your never wanted to look beyond the clouds and the stars, or to know what causes the trees to bud? And what changes the darkness into light? But if you talk like that, people call you crazy. Well, if I could discover just one of these things, what eternity is, for example, I wouldn't care if they did think I was crazy.

And that is why we persevere in the face of unlikely odds, why we believe in our unique creations, and why we must always ask ourselves and explore the age-old question, "what if?"

***

(Oh, but... let's not channel what happens to Frankenstein at the end of the movie, k?)

Wednesday's Word Count

Yup. It's that day again. The day I ask you to share goals, make them public, and answer to them the following week.

A roundup of last week:

PJ was working on revisions (but she's on vacation right now).
Stephanie set a daring goal of 12k.
Eric didn't make a specific goal but I'd like to think he's actively writing.
Tyler also didn't state a goal but I know he's working on a rewrite.
Nevets was getting behind. Hopefully he's back on track.
Heather was pretending to ignore me.
Sheri didn't state a goal but she chimed in on my writing question. How's the writing Sheri? Your meter says 90% done. Woo!
Rhonda also chimed in on last Wednesday's question.

If you want to review last week's thread, you can find it here.

As for me...

Prior Goal: Finish draft by 05/15

Accomplished: Yes!

Goal for new week: Ehh... knock out some major revisions?

Excuses / comments: I'm on somewhat unfamiliar grounds all of a sudden. I don't have a process for revision and this novel needs a lot of it. Fortunately, Heather gave me a rundown on her process and it's a great one. I've decided to combine her advice with Holly Isle's One-Pass Revision technique whilst reviewing my three favorite writing books: The First Five Pages, Self-Editing for Fiction Writers, and Plot & Structure.

So far there are things I love and hate about revising. I've noticed, in some cases, it's best to rewrite a scene from scratch on a new document. It helps to prevent me from clinging to sentences I've already written, and therefore gives me an increased chance at finding a better way to word something.

Wednesday Question: Do you have any tips or thoughts you want to share on revising and editing? Do you love it? Hate it? And of course, how are your goals coming along?