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Kristy Hunter, Wednesday, March 22nd
It Think It's Finally Happened...
What can I say? I was a nonbeliever in writer's block for a long time because it just wasn't a problem for me. To me it seemed like you either had the inspiration and drive or you didn't. Well, that theory has come to bite me in the butt. The funk I've been in has turned into full disability. If it's not writer's block, well, then I don't know what to call this phenomenon.
Even after finding that new determination and making plans on exactly how I was going to push through this, I've faltered and fallen flat.
Whatever WIP I open screams "bad, bad, bad," and "you don't have what it takes" at me. I read over anything I've written from four years ago to last week and I just can't stomach it. If I can't stand to read my own writing why should I expect anyone else to?
My well of ideas seems to have dried up, too. I just can't think of a new idea that will spark my writer-drive and get me going again. Everything I think of just doesn't have the potential or it's only a fraction of an idea that needs a lot of developing, and then I can't figure out how to develop it into something fresh and original.
Am I just scared to admit to myself that I don't have what it takes? Writing is the one constant hobby I have had and sure I'll probably write off and on for the rest of my life, but I wanted it to be the thing I would actually be good at. The thing I could succeed at. I wanted to publish.
I think it might be time to let go of that dream.