By Lori Johnson
When an elderly friend gives seventeen-year-old Taylor a beautiful charm bracelet, little does she know the gift is a curse. Taylor wears the keys to the gates of Hell.
Breandán, the new guy at school, is a magnet to everyone who meets him, and even Taylor falls for him instantly. She tosses aside her boyfriend, friends, and popularity for a chance to be with the ethereal stranger. Breandán tells Taylor he has dreamed of her for years. But when Breandán sees Taylor wearing the charm bracelet, he knows she is more than fate – she could be deadly. Breandán admits he’s a warrior angel who was sent, along with his family, to guard the Heir who wears the keys.
Breandán is not supposed to love Taylor, who is now the reluctant Heir. Because of his actions, he is banished back to his home land. Demons from the Realm of Darkness take advantage of Breandán’s absence to possess Taylor’s ex-boyfriend in order to lure Taylor into opening Hell’s doors. Somehow Taylor must find a way to save him without sacrificing the angel she loves, even if it means her own death.
I am querying you because you (personal touch here). My YA fantasy romance, Breathe, is complete at 90,000 words. Per your submission guidelines I have (followed directions here). Thank you for your time and consideration.
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Public Critique: Lori's Revised Query
your awesome comments but isn't too sure about the revision. Please give it a look and offer any further advice or constructive criticism you may have. If you're interested in having a query, synopsis, or excerpt posted on Lit Rambles for critique, check out my contribute page.
Posted by Casey McCormick on Wednesday, September 15, 2010